I love staying at our house. That’s where I have all my childhood memories, where we would celebrate the holidays, eat my mom’s specialty dishes, hang out with my cousins, bring my friends over—it’s where I grew up. It’s my comfort zone. However, since I am already an adult (I think? Lol) and earning, contribute by paying for the internet, water and electricity bill. Being in my late 20’s, I realized that if I wanted to move forward with life, it felt like it was only right to move out. I didn’t want to wait till I’m married. I just felt like with the work that I have and my lifestyle, this would benefit me.
While your parents love having you around the house, it’s really not the best option for long-term success as an adult. At some point in your life, you really have to move out. Eventually, you need to leave the nest.
A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with my parents and told them I wanted to move out. They were both supportive about it, gave some pros and cons. I can sense that they were happy I was making decisions of my own, but I guess it hurt them a little
So the real question isn’t “when is it time to move out of your parents’ house” but when—and how to do it gracefully. If you’re staying at your parents’ house, there’s no reason for you to feel like a failure. Everything takes time, so my suggestion is for you to work hard, help around the house and take this time at home to prepare yourself for living on your own in the future. Moving out of your parents’ home is a major step, it’ll definitely help you set up for a much more solid financial future. If you’re like me who has been thinking about going to the next level, I have prepared five (5) signs that it’s time to move out of your parents’ house.
1. You have a Steady Job
One of the biggest clues that you should probably start looking for a place to move in/rent is that you can afford to move out on your own. We’re lucky that Filipinos are very family-oriented that we can stay with our parents’ as long as we want to. However, your independence is your paychecks and it is the opportunity for you to create the life you want to live. If you have a steady job and can finally afford your own place—do it. I wanted to move out since I was 24 years old but I wasn’t financially stable. I worked hard and decided that 27 is the age I will finally get to move out. Moving out is not just about living on your own, designing your own place and having total freedom. Everything sounds exciting until you have to go on full ‘adulting’ mode and worry about cooking your own food, making your bed every morning, cleaning your bathroom, doing the groceries, doing the laundry, paying your rent/water/electricity/internet bills. I read somewhere that you should take a ‘test drive’ of your budget for these things by setting aside what you’d pay for rent, utilities, and groceries in a savings account. If you can manage your budget with comfort for at least four months, you should definitely leave your parents’ house.
2. Your Commute to Work Takes Hours
You know it’s time to move out when you spend so much of your precious time stuck in that dreadful traffic in EDSA. Sometimes I wonder how I much time and money I spend on Grab/gas every year. I live in Quezon City and 99% of the time, all my meetings, events, shoots are in The Fort/Makati area. It’s such a waste of time and getting your own place near where you work is ideal because you get to accomplish so many things by saving time not being stranded in your morning commute. The traffic in the evening is even worse so imagine living near where your job is, you don’t have to wake up so early and you have extra time in the evening to squeeze in a workout or catch up with your friends. The Pursuit of Passion website has a lot of interesting and helpful articles that can help us millennials on how to survive the ‘adulting’ life. More here.
3. You’ve Outgrown your Bedroom
When I think about it, I have been living in the same room for 27 years. I’m sure a lot of you guys can relate. If your room has been outdated beyond repair and you no longer feel at home but overwhelmed and agitated by all the little knick knacks around you, it may be time for you to consider getting a place of your own where you are free to start decorating from scratch. This is why I don’t film anything in my room. I feel like it’s my ‘safe place’ wherein I can just dump all my things and not worry about anything. It’s practically impossible to feel like you’re moving on with your life — and becoming your own person — when you’re living with your parents and still (sometimes) being treated like a kid instead of an adult.
4. You Don’t Manage Your Own Affairs
Moving out of your parents’ house means you get to manage your own bills, finances, chores, laundry and your own future. I know, it all sounds boring, but if you’re not doing it by your early 20s, then you are denying yourself an opportunity to grow and mature. Sometimes we take the term “adulting” lightly but it is a lifelong process and the sooner you start, the faster you will learn. My mom helps me with my tax, finances and other things I have no knowledge about (lol) but I take those opportunities to really learn so I can handle everything myself.
5. You’re Ready for the Next Chapter
When you find yourself stagnating in your life, it’s time to move forward. I can relate to this so much because I have been itching to move out of my parents’ house but of course I was doubtful if I can already afford it, if I can survive living on my own and not depend on my parents, and of course there’s the fact that you know that your parents aren’t gonna be around forever so you want to spend as much time as you can with them. All these thoughts (and so much more) going through my head that it often leaves me disheartened and forgoing the “moving out” part. I then go back to my daily grind and forget about how I want to grow as a person. Here’s the thing though, moving out and starting the next chapter of your life doesn’t mean that you’re going to say goodbye and ignore your parents. I have a good relationship with my parents and I would very much want to spend time with them as much as possible. Once you’re out, keep up the relationship with your parents. They have helped you for a couple decades. Maintain those family ties, and be ready to help them when they need it.
While it can be scary to move out and make it on your own, it’s something you can handle. Start by making a reasonable budget and seeing what you can afford. Work hard and save up so that you are ready to make the move. Best of luck to you!